Sometimes I think of stuff that probably I shouldn’t…

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Steve Ricci

by Steve Ricci


Top Ten First Drafts of Famous Poems

10. Whose woods these are I think I know/He peed his name into the snow

9. I must go down to the seas again/I left my wallet on the goddamn beach

8. Tiger, tiger burning bright/smells so bad but, oh, the light

7. How do I love thee? No, really, how? C’mon, I’ve never done this before.

6. She walks in beauty like the night/If the night were a wolverine with a hammertoe

5. Laugh and the world laughs with you/Weep and you’ll just blow embarrassing snot bubbles

4. Listen my children and you shall hear/The midnight slide of tacos and beer

3. Do not go gentle into that good night/But rage against that bastard who ran the red light

2. Because I could not stop for Death/I’ve wrecked the quarter panel on my Dodge

1. Of all the words of tongue or pen/… um …

Top Ten Rejected Literary Titles

10. Something Sticky This Way Comes

9. Catcher in the Jägermeister

8. Huckleberry Moskowitz

7. New Tires for Algernon

6. The Kumquats of Wrath

5. Fear and Loathing in Sheboygan

4. Romeo and Bruce

3. A Brief History of Last Thursday Afternoon at about 3:37

2. Interview with the Umpire

1. The Haircut of Ivan Ilyich


Steve Ricci has been known to write, edit, and photograph things. Please don’t encourage him.

© 2009 Steven Ricci

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4 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Posts by Steve Ricci

4 responses to “Sometimes I think of stuff that probably I shouldn’t…

  1. Hysterical!! You have a keen and twisted mind, Steve!

  2. Jon Pine

    I think I actually read the first draft of “A Brief History…” It was indeed quite brief…

    Another home run, Steve!

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