Real Products You Can Buy, Eat, & Use

BY ROBERT SMITH

Every so often, you pass something in a store that makes you glad you live in this Land O’ Plenty, as the variety of products and services we have at our fingertips here is just another sign that, well…we love to buy and produce some pretty odd stuff.

Here’s a brief compendium of head-scratching concepts, products, and foods:

This is a brand of slider lock that’s on the door of a stall in the men’s room of a bowling center that I roll at. I shudder to think what’s on the women’s room stall door – Vag-Hida, perhaps?

What follows is a can of dog food; the full name is “Lord Of The Manor Gourmet Sliced Chicken Dinner In Gravy Dog Food.” Love this label so much, I can’t describe it; it’s as if they Googled a couple of stock images, and Viola. One of the listed ingredients is “water sufficient for processing.” I wouldn’t let my dog near this stuff on a bet from a Newfy. Available now at fine stores such as National Wholesale Liquidators!

Finally … THE most hilarious canned product EVER…some of these food items, I’ve never even heard of..oh, my lord.

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10 Comments

Filed under Humor, Photography, Posts by Robert Smith

10 responses to “Real Products You Can Buy, Eat, & Use

  1. RICK

    The beans brings back memories of breakfast in England many years ago. I had something like that served over toast. I remeber at the time trying to figure it out whether the results would be a Monty Phython or a Blazing Saddles fireside effect.it was both.

  2. Robert Smith

    Rick…that was priceless!

  3. Jon Pine

    LOL! The can o’ “All Day Breakfast” immediately made me think of one of my favorite episodes of “Green Acres.” Remember the one when Lisa makes the “dehydroficated Mason Dixon Southern fried chicken dinner”?

    It was fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and for dessert, apple pie – all in the same can! Without a doubt, the best meal she ever made…

    • Robert Smith

      Lisa’s coffee was the stuff of comic legend; remember the show where it looked like she poured a cup of coal tar? That’s what’s wrong with TV these days – why not just do funny for funny’s sake?

      • Jon Pine

        Yes! And I remember the awful pancakes that, in a pinch, were used as replacement roof shingles. And the time she made “cupcakes” – those same awful pancakes, just cooked in a coffee cup.

        No matter what awful culinary concoction Lisa would come up with, somehow Ebb had not only already heard of it, it was among his favorite foods.

        But perhaps the funniest Lisa cooking moment, though, was when she cooked a fabulous, multi-course meal for Oliver – because she was suffering from amnesia and couldn’t remember that she was a terrible cook!

        What a simply hilarious show, with the emphasis on “simply.”

  4. RICK

    Fred and Ethels “baby boy” Arnold Ziiffel was always a highlight…

  5. Robert Smith

    Heavens yes, Rick! Who didn’t live Arnold goes to Hollywood, with the pig wearing a beret and sunglasses?

  6. Ok that can of all day breakfast made my stomach gurgle just a bit. A pint of Lisa’s coffee would probably do me some good.

    (Shoot. Are we all aging ourselves here with these references to Green Acres?)

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